Marcella Faye Housman (Smith) Gillum Born: December 21, 1934 to Fay and Faye (Green) Housman Died: September 13, 2004 in Valparaiso, Indiana My mom was born in Indianapolis, Indiana and was raised in Indiana. She graduated from Danville, IN High School in 1952 and was Homecoming Queen. She sold real estate and also worked at Porter Starke Services in Valparaiso. She was a homemaker, wife and mother until 1976 when she decided to go to work. I was fortunate to have her home with me while growing up. Mom married her first love, Robert Lee Smith in 1952. I was told by a friend of mom’s that they were very much in love. That does not surprise me at all either. They were blessed with two children Geoffrey Lee Smith and Nancy Leigh (Smith) Rodgers. However, on September 13, 1965 tragedy struck when Geoff died suddenly at school at the age of 12 of a heart attack. Geoff passing was hard on the whole family but hardest on mom. We all had a hard time getting past his death. Mom was preceded in death not only by her son but also her father Fay Housman, her first husband Robert Lee Smith , and her beloved canine companion Chelsea. In 1976 my mom became a proud grandmother of her only grandson, Joshua Lee (Stalbaum) Rodgers. Mom was a large part of Joshua’s life and they were very close to one another. Even after Josh got older, mom would come to spend a week or so with us in the summer. Josh always wanted her to stay longer because their time together was too short. They used to have this suntan contest every year to see who could get the darkest. Mom even made the comment to me this summer that Josh won this year. My parents got divorced later in life and my mom got remarried to Ken Gillum. They lived in Valparaiso, Indiana in the same home that my parents built in 1960. Mom was known for being a “fighter”. She had been diagnosed with breast cancer over 21 years ago and was very fortunate to beat it. She said that every morning when she woke up she would thank God that she was cancer free one more day. When she was diagnosed Josh was very young and he asked mom what cancer was. She told him that it was like rust on a car, if you don’t take care of it, it will eat away at your body. This is such a true statement of this horrible disease. On October 26, 2003 she was diagnosed with lung cancer. After taking chemotherapy and radiation treatments she was not able to beat this one. She was getting better for a little while and then she went down hill. Joshua and I spent a lot of time with mom this last year. We would spend between a month or two with her at a time. Joshua went up to see her in July and was with her until the end. Mom kept telling me how happy she was to have Josh as part of her life, that he was so special to her, and how proud she was of him. She also joked that most people when they are sick have a nurse, but she had a private chef. Even though my mom had a rough life, she had a heart of gold and would do anything for others. She was always there to share her love with others, her sense of humor was wonderful, and she would lend a shoulder to cry on anytime. Every Christmas she made sure that she would buy gifts for the kids that were homeless. This brought her a lot of joy. She enjoyed spending time with her grandson, mom and me which we also enjoyed our time with her. Near the end of her life when I was speaking to her Oncologist, she said that mom mentioned several times how blessed she was to have me as a daughter and Josh as a grandson. This is something that I will never forget. Mom was always there for us. Her moral support was great, and we would call her every Sunday to talk. When she was feeling good we would email each other at least once a day and also talk on msn. She had a son in law that thought the world of her. Dennis was with her when she passed and three nurses were with him. They told him that they had never seen such a caring son in law before that would stay with their mother in law when they were so ill. He told them all that she was a special mother in law – one in a million. Mom and I always said that our time together was too short. This is also true of how short her life was. In the end, she was so bad that her pleading eyes would just break my heart. The nurses all said that she would only last a couple of more days, but I told everyone that I knew in my heart that she would not pass until the 13th – the anniversary of my brother’s death. I told her that I knew that Geoff would be waiting for her and he probably had Chelsea in his arms waiting to give her a big hug and kiss. A very dear friend of mine sent me the book “Healing After Loss Daily Meditations for Working Through Grief by Martha Whitmore Hickman”. This is an excellent book for anyone dealing with loss. I recommend it to everyone. As I was reading through the book on October 2nd I read the following: “All I know from my own experience is that the more loss we feel the more grateful we should be for whatever it was we had to lose. It means we had something worth grieving for. The ones I’m sorry for are the ones that go through life not even knowing what grief is. --- Frank O’Connor” I guess that this sums it up all so well. God knows that mom was worth a lot. She was such a loving and caring person and grieving for her is only natural. Mom loved to watch the birds out through the window, especially her cardinals. She watched the squirrels in the yard eat their corn and get into the bird feeders. She loved to watch her roses bloom in the summer. She had several rose bushes in the back yard and they were all gorgeous. She also had a love for elephants and clowns. She had a wonderful elephant collection that we helped her with. Mom loved to get a bargain and enjoyed going to garage sales and spending time with those she loved and her friends. Every year she had a tradition of making Joshua a pumpkin roll for his birthday. Last year even though it took her over an hour to do she got it done. She told me that she was afraid that it would be the last one she would make for him so for him to enjoy it. She made a couple of comments to me in the last year and I guess that I knew that she would not make it more than a year. Mom, you are truly missed by all who loved you and cared about you. You were a great mother, daughter, grandmother and wife. I miss our phone calls, our emails but most of all I miss you! Thank you for all that you gave me, for the lessons that you taught me and for being my mom. I hope now that you are happy and that you will always know just how much I loved you my little snail! Love always and forever, your little butterfly, Nancy
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